The 75th Academy Awards #4

1. I don't care what you say, I still think Jennifer Garner is secretly Ron Howard's daughter. How much money did they spend on that CGI Mickey Mouse? And who did the voice - some stray audience member who stumbled backstage to take a piss? The Chub-Chubs wins Best Animated Short Film. What the HELL is a 'Chub-Chub'?

2. This Charming Man wins Best Live-Action Short Film. How come we never get to see any of these things? I'd like to be charmed, you know.

3. Mira Sorvino comes out of to present the Oscar for Best Costume Design. Chicago wins, while 'All That Jazz' plays in the background. I think it has been playing this whole time, and they just turn the sound down when someone else wins an award.

4. Brendan Fraser introduces the clip for Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers. Some random Nancy is going to end up getting the part of Superman, and there he was presenting an award. Listen to that voice; it's a Superhero voice. Stupid asshole Warner Brothers.

5. God this is so boring. Where's the controversy? WHERE ARE THE CRAZY STREAKERS, DAMNIT?!?!?!